Ummm... Errr....
Couldn't think of any snappy or clever title for this posting.
One yet another medication, which I believe isn't the right one for me (at least as far as the dose they have me on...??).
Still having suicidal thoughts, LOTS of them, in fact, but right now they are more of an intellectual exercise, than anything else.
However, I also know, from my 911 days, that making plans of suicide is a HUGE STEP towards the actual act...
Which, fortunately, I still have not taken the PREPARATIONS step... or, have I?? Hmmm... considering how many different plans that I have made, some don't need much more than my car and some gas, or even a length of rope (Here's a math problem ... how much rope does it take to break the neck of a wizard? How far would I have to jump from a birch tree to assure a clean snap? Any different from an oak, or an ash tree?? -- Good thing I always HATED these math problems... )
Anyway, seems that nowadays, I am plotting and planning and devising ways to off myself than to the capture and tormenting of super-heroines!!
But, one good bit of news here, I actually DID MEET SOMEONE who actually READS these (Hi JW!! 👋), so that gives me encouragement to at least keep updating this blog, which implies a futuristic outlook, as opposed to doing nothing in a fatalistic viewpoint.
Anyway, my mental health professional (BB) is helping me, in helping me to see things from a different viewpoint, as well, in that I am seeing how many different acts, that I went through during my early years (10 yrs old), added with the trauma of being robbed at gunpoint while walking to work, ADDED upon the 27 years on continual life/death decision making of an emergency 911 operator, has ended up really messing up this ole' wizzy's brain!! 😵
One yet another medication, which I believe isn't the right one for me (at least as far as the dose they have me on...??).
Still having suicidal thoughts, LOTS of them, in fact, but right now they are more of an intellectual exercise, than anything else.
However, I also know, from my 911 days, that making plans of suicide is a HUGE STEP towards the actual act...
Which, fortunately, I still have not taken the PREPARATIONS step... or, have I?? Hmmm... considering how many different plans that I have made, some don't need much more than my car and some gas, or even a length of rope (Here's a math problem ... how much rope does it take to break the neck of a wizard? How far would I have to jump from a birch tree to assure a clean snap? Any different from an oak, or an ash tree?? -- Good thing I always HATED these math problems... )
Anyway, seems that nowadays, I am plotting and planning and devising ways to off myself than to the capture and tormenting of super-heroines!!
But, one good bit of news here, I actually DID MEET SOMEONE who actually READS these (Hi JW!! 👋), so that gives me encouragement to at least keep updating this blog, which implies a futuristic outlook, as opposed to doing nothing in a fatalistic viewpoint.
Anyway, my mental health professional (BB) is helping me, in helping me to see things from a different viewpoint, as well, in that I am seeing how many different acts, that I went through during my early years (10 yrs old), added with the trauma of being robbed at gunpoint while walking to work, ADDED upon the 27 years on continual life/death decision making of an emergency 911 operator, has ended up really messing up this ole' wizzy's brain!! 😵
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