Vladi Wizard's Musings

Had another psychotic break on Saturday. Not as bad as the one before, when I turned in my guns, but was close enough that was taken into hospital. Not there too long, and now under watchful eye of my brother for a few days, until I can get back onto some anti-depressants (since I had to wean off the last one due to a bad interaction with it, thus I have been on nothing for depression since then). I have those thoughts of suicide everyday, but when I start to act upon them, that is when I knew that I had taken a drastic step that needed some intervention (preparing garage for C02 poisoning). 

Couldn't think of any snappy or clever title for this posting. One yet another medication, which I believe isn't the right one for me (at least as far as the dose they have me on...??). Still having suicidal thoughts, LOTS of them, in fact, but right now they are more of an intellectual exercise, than anything else. However, I also know, from my 911 days, that making plans of suicide is a HUGE STEP towards the actual act... Which, fortunately, I still have not taken the PREPARATIONS step... or, have I?? Hmmm... considering how many different plans that I have made, some don't need much more than my car and some gas, or even a length of rope (Here's a math problem ... how much rope does it take to break the neck of a wizard? How far would I have to jump from a birch tree to assure a clean snap? Any different from an oak, or an ash tree?? -- Good thing I always HATED these math problems... ) Anyway, seems that nowadays, I am plotting and planning and devising wa