Vladi Wizard's Musings

Couldn't think of any snappy or clever title for this posting. One yet another medication, which I believe isn't the right one for me (at least as far as the dose they have me on...??). Still having suicidal thoughts, LOTS of them, in fact, but right now they are more of an intellectual exercise, than anything else. However, I also know, from my 911 days, that making plans of suicide is a HUGE STEP towards the actual act... Which, fortunately, I still have not taken the PREPARATIONS step... or, have I?? Hmmm... considering how many different plans that I have made, some don't need much more than my car and some gas, or even a length of rope (Here's a math problem ... how much rope does it take to break the neck of a wizard? How far would I have to jump from a birch tree to assure a clean snap? Any different from an oak, or an ash tree?? -- Good thing I always HATED these math problems... ) Anyway, seems that nowadays, I am plotting and planning and devising wa...

What a week so far!! Monday, sitting on my bed, with my Ruger 40 in my hand, contemplating if it is better to go for the temple shot or through the mouth shot. Decided that this was NOT a good idea and contacted my local Sheriff and have them come and pick up my 2 handguns. 1 chief of police, 1 sheriff sergeant and 3 deputies, 3 firemen and 2 paramedics later .... They thanked me for being considerate and calling them. I thought I would be okay, and convinced them to leave me alone as I would be seeing my mental health doctor the next day, in 24 hours in fact. Alrighty then! Thank you citizen and have a good day! So, this really is a carry over of my earlier psychotic break which lead to my early retirement from 911 last October. Well, seems like the medication that they gave me, I have been only using half the normal dosage so, as the MHP counselor said, the drug lost is therapeutic value. Why yes... yes it did. Anyway, the next morning, I am considering all the differ...